I have a whole library of stories floating in my head that I'm hoping to, one day, get out into the written word. However, I already feel compelled to pause in my storytelling.
Why?
Because in the last few days, since I posted the story of Chloe and my uncovering of the "mom lie", so many mamas have reached out to me with the same question- formed in different ways...but the same question.
Now, just to be clear, these are moms from all over the place. Some are women I haven't seen in decades. One is actually a complete stranger- connected to me through a mutual friend. A few live down the street. This outreach has overwhelmed me for a few reasons but, the most profound has been the realization that we are all on this journey, trying to "figure stuff out" and most of us feel alone. Heartbreaking.
So, to the question:
"But, what if I don't even know what my passion is? What if I realize I WANT more and I WANT to run after the person I'm created to be....but I have no idea where to begin?"
That IS the question right? That's the big one.
I have two vivid memories:
1. We were driving to the grocery store in San Diego. The radio was playing...I don't remember what song but probably Indigo Girls or Colbie Caillat or something like that...and, I passively said:
"I always wanted to be a folk singer"
To which my 4 year old daughter responded:
"You're not dead yet"
That was it. That was the entire conversation.
That tiny conversation hit me straight in the gut. I can still feel it.
She was right.
I'm NOT dead yet.
I DO have permission to dream.
2. I was on a walk with the kids. I was openly talking to them about this wild-hair idea I had about opening a boutique (this was many years later and I had already run after many other wild-hair ideas...). All of the logical voices in my life were busy explaining to me all the reasons why opening a store was nonsense. And, there are a LOT of reasons.
And then,
my daughter said:
"If you don't do it won't you always wonder what would've happened?"
That was it.
Those two moments did something in me. They moved something. A ROCK that was blocking my heart.
They opened my heart and mind up to the possibility of wild failure and wild success and the understanding that they were the exact same thing.
I have yet to be a folk singer...that dream got muted by others that excited me even more (someday I will still learn to play that guitar though! Not dead yet!)
I did open the boutique. It was wild and it turned out to not be what I want for my life. But, does that mean it failed? NOPE- it means I was wildly successful in closing in on my real mission- my real passion.
So then, what if you have no idea? What if you feel frozen and you don't even know how to start looking for you?
Start here:
Get HUNGRY.
If you walk into a restaurant and you aren't hungry - if you walk in with the strong opinion resonating in your brain of "I'm not hungry"- there will be nothing there for you to eat. Nothing will sound good or right.
But, if you walk in, ready to eat- excited for the meal- you'll find EVERYTHING looks great.
Your Passion IS on the menu. Get hungry to find it.
Go out into the day with your heart wide open for experiences that fuel you...and then follow them until the lesson is discovered.
No one can tell you what your passion is or where you find it. But if you're not hungry for it- the chances of you passing it by are high.
Get HUNGRY. Let's eat.
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